The Complete Guide to Being a Stealthy Stoner

Disclaimer: Stealthy Stoner is an affiliate of multiple entities mentioned in the article below - please keep this in mind while reading.


You probably can’t even see anyone in this image, but there is actually a very high ninja hiding somewhere inside it.


To be a stealthy stoner, one must have not only the right mindset, but also the right tools for the job. It doesn’t matter if your fan’s on and you cracked a window, if you light a joint in that room, you’re going to have a bad time. The next few paragraphs will outline the plan and necessary equipment to give you the best chances of getting high, on the low.

First off, we need to establish what tools to use. Joints, bongs, blunts, and other ways to smoke are great for smoking, but awful for stealth. If being sneaky is a concern to you, you need to invest in a vaporizer. You’ll have to do your own research on which vaporizer you’ll acquire, as both quality and price will come into play. Check out our top 5 vaporizers if you need some help. In short, vaporizers deliver the THC to your body without smelling up the area around you, and your clothes, which is perfect for this situation. So that takes care of getting high, but we also need to remember some of the more obvious symptoms, namely, red eyes. This is an easy fix. Simply pick up some eye drops (preferably labeled “Redness Relief” or something of the like), and put a drop in each eye right before you do the deed. A lot of people do this afterwards, but if done before, your eyes will never be even the slightest bit red.

This is what we'd like to avoid.

This is what we’d like to avoid.

So now you know what you need, but when and where do you use these tools? The where depends on your situation. Home alone, don’t have nosy neighbors? Take a step out your backdoor and you’re good to go, no one could possibly smell vapor outside. Need to stay indoors for this operation? Your best bet is probably the bathroom. Lock the door, start a nice steamy shower, and open the window. Eye drops in, vapor out the window, and for extra safety, actually take a shower afterwards. It’ll feel like heaven, and the soap/shampoo will cover up any lingering smell. Those are going to be your best 2 options. You could also go with the classic open window, fan on, vapor out window option in your own bedroom, and honestly you’d most likely be fine. But if you’re paranoid, or in a situation where you absolutely cannot be caught, it’s either bathroom or outside for sure.

So we’ve picked out our tools and narrowed down the premier locations to be a regular baked ninja. If you have any questions, concerns, or feedback, just comment below and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. If your itching to learn more on the subject, browse this site a bit more, we have consistently updated content all aimed at turning you into the stealthiest stoner there ever was.

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